[Now playing: "Fuck What Fireworks Stand For" Give Up the Ghost]
Does anyone who reads this give a damn about a word I say? I don't know... Nor do I care. This is why I am going to throw another "disregard that last entry" out there.
If you choose to read this, you agree to read my erratic rambling and complaining. Yes, I have the right to bitch about being miserable because nobody cares anyway. Oh and no, I am not just using some cold logic, looking for people to jump out from behind a bush and proclaim their undying love for me-- if people did care, I'd be seeing a psychiatrist like I have requested. I probably would not feel so alone either. That would be pretty cool.
If anyone reads this, it is plain to see I am pretty fucking miserable.
But not a word. Sit back and relax, watch the catastrophe unravel. I am just entertainment. I do not think I am the kind of person who needs to be reassured, but if people actually do care about me, I am in need of reassurance. Because honestly, I do not buy the concept of people out there caring about me. People who care about eachother look out for eachother. If I know something is going on, I'll try my hardest have your back and understand whats up. Who has my back?
Anyone who reads this... Or anyone who talks to me has seen one of my freakouts. I don't know what else to call them. Mental collapsation? Panic attacks... Anxiety...? I don't know. I don't care.
And neither do you. And if you're offended by me saying this, fuck off please. Thanks. No need to be afraid. I'm not going to bite your head off if you try to make me feel a little better. You don't even have to do that much.
Oh and could I be any more fucking bitter? Could I?
I needed to put that out on the table. Probably just to collect dust. But hey, if you're going to be hopeless you might as well push a few buttons to see where it gets you.
I went to see Dodgeball tonight with caitlin. French final tomorrow. Incubus concert on the 25th.
the end.
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This is no longer going to be locked. If anyone I dislike wants to read this enough, I suppose they can. It's actually a bit flattering... =) But if you're going to read this, leave me a fucking note, creep. I mean it. If I have not been informed that you are reading this, I will notice an unknown i.p. address viewing my site eventually, and you will be banned promptly.
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- - Sunday, Feb. 27, 2005
- - Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005
- - Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2005
- - Thursday, Jan. 27, 2005
- - Sunday, Jan. 23, 2005
I feel...